Questions: Where do they come from?

SCI-BC from Vancouver, British Columbia asks:

Do different groups of people ask you different types of questions in public?

---

As a matter of fact, they do.

On the surface this sounds like a simple question with a simple and obvious answer. I find the answer to be a lot more complex than people may realize. I'm going to divide the answer into several distinct groups that I notice, and elaborate on each of them.

1. People who are elderly.

Elderly people make up the most interesting group. While generally they come from the same one or two generations, the questions they ask also come from their own personal background as well as the people they know.

Some of them are simply not used to the idea of people in wheelchairs being able to live active lives, and their questions and observations show that. Comments like "It's so nice to see you out" indicate that they do not expect to see you participating in society, period.

There is also another type of person in this group that I find extremely interesting, and that is the group that is asking the questions for their own interest. Some of them may have mobility impairments already and are asking questions like "How accessible do you find Vancouver?" partly for their own interest (and they often do not hesitate to share their own concerns about getting around as their own medical condition progresses).

Some also ask for their friends for similar reasons; their friend may have a condition that will progress in the future, necessitating the use of a wheelchair or other mobility device.

I find that it is really two extremes: either it is someone who does not have concerns about his or her own mobility or someone who does.

2. People who are elderly AND in the same racial category as me.

I am a Asian Canadian. I get it. If you are one of the elderly people who did not grow up here, it is a bit intimidating to talk to people in a culture and country that you are not completely familiar with. I have lived and worked abroad before and understand this. It is always a comfort when someone speaks your language and come from a similar cultural background.

The types of questions that elderly Asians ask are slightly different. Instead of asking about accessibility, I find that the questions often revolve around family and group dynamics. They ask a lot about how things affect family members, or whether they help if something is inaccessible and so on. Their thoughts are less centered on the individual and more on the family or group, which is one of the more well-known cultural differences between Asia and the West.

Another type of question they might ask is related to numbers. For some reason, elderly Asians who have asked me questions often ask about how much things like my wheelchair cost, how much time I spent in rehab, how long it takes to do something and so on. I have no idea why this is but it has happened to me numerous times and I find it quite fascinating.

3. Friends of someone who is in a wheelchair

This group is not shy. Obviously it is partly because they are already familiar with many aspects of wheelchair users. Predictably, the questions I get from them are more comparative; for example, they may ask something about me or how I do something, and compare it to their friend.

Personally, I do not think this is fair since everyone's condition is different – someone else with the same spinal cord injury level and type as me may have completely different issues. To take an example from someone I know who is gay, it is like how one gay person who comes from the same background as another gay person may have different concerns, tastes and so on.

But what about those who never ask questions?

This is interesting to me: the people who never ask questions tend to be those under the age of thirty. Teenagers never ask me questions. Children never ask me questions (except for that one time at Tim Hortons). University students often do not ask me questions. I do not know if this is because of the "don't stare" mentality turning into a "don't acknowledge" mentality but they are usually the quietest. Go figure.

Post-script: These are only from my experiences and other people may have different viewpoints. Remember, I do not represent everybody and what happens to me may not happen to other people. It really depends.

Helping people in wheelchairs

Larry from Rowland Heights, California asks:

Where I work, there is a guy in a wheelchair. Every time I help him open the door, he looks annoyed with me. What am I doing wrong/incorrectly?

---

This one is pretty simple. I am sure he is annoyed because you were helping him without asking.

People with disabilities do not want to be seen as "unable." Disability does not mean inability. For those with disabilities, there are certain things that they CAN do; when they can do something, they want to do it. By helping without asking, you are actually not allowing that person to do something that he can do on his own.

In addition, by helping him with something that he can do, you are also inadvertently highlighting his disability or drawing attention to it.

A lot of this is accidental most of the time. Many people are taught at a young age to help those who are considered "less fortunate," such as elderly people or those with disabilities. This is a type of "charity model" of thinking that people with disabilities are trying to do away with.

With that said, if the person is struggling, what do you do? Again, it is quite simple: ask the person if he needs assistance.

If the person says no, then respect his wishes. In fact, at physical rehabilitation centers, they teach their patients to be as independent as possible – this includes being able to do things on their own.

However, if he accepts your help, then open the door "correctly." The correct way is to open the door and stand behind it, instead of being in front of the door. The reason is because if you are in front of the door, you are blocking the doorway for the wheelchair (which can often be almost the same width as the door frame).

Asking if the person needs help is a general rule to keep in mind. For example, my friends had no idea what to do when they first went somewhere in public with me as a wheelchair user. I told them, "Don't help me unless I ask." That has worked beautifully so far and is a good general rule of thumb to follow.

Assumptions about disability

This entry is part of Blogging Against Disablism Day.

Mitchell B. from Riverside, California asks:

What are the most common assumptions about disability made by able-bodied people?

---

I love this question. For the purposes of this blog, I will focus mainly on physical disabilities since that is what I know best.

---

Assumption #1: If you are in a wheelchair, you cannot walk.

Reality: While it is true that many people who use wheelchairs cannot walk, that is not always the case. Many wheelchair users, including myself, can walk certain distances. However, for one reason or another, it is not always practical to do so. For example, someone has cerebral palsy may be able to get around the house fine but it is possible that any distance beyond 100 feet may be too much to handle. Another possibility is that someone may fatigue easily from walking too much; remember that for many conditions, some muscles or nerves cannot be activated, thus it may require a lot more energy for someone to walk (because different muscles may be used – muscles that may not be optimal for walking).

It is easier to think of it this way. Imagine you have a very old grandparent who is slow at getting around but can do usual everyday things. If you were to have a family trip to Disneyland, where it would be crowded with lots of walking and standing, what would you do? Many people would choose to rent a wheelchair to make things easier and less tiring. It is the same idea for some people – the ability to walk is there but it may not be physically practical to do so.

---

Assumption #2: All people in wheelchairs are paralyzed.

Reality: Of course, from the previous answer, this is not always the case. Some people may have cerebral palsy, hip conditions, fatigue conditions and so on.

---

Assumption #3: Paralyzed people cannot walk or move their legs.

Reality: While this is true for many people, it is still a common misconception. If someone's spinal cord injury is "complete," then this is likely true. If someone has an "incomplete" injury, then many things can happen. People with incomplete injuries often have some degree of feeling or control over the muscles below the point of injury. Even people with cervical spinal cord injuries ("partial quadriplegia") can possibly regain the ability to walk.

There is also something called spasms, which are basically involuntary muscle movements. It can take place in the form of a sudden twitch, or vibrating muscles (so someone's legs may be "jigging" up and down rapidly).

---

Assumption #4: People in wheelchairs cannot drive or have children.

Reality: Driving is possible for almost everyone nowadays thanks to new technologies. Cars can be driven without using legs if hand controls are installed (where one can control both the brakes and gas pedals using levers). Fertility is more complicated and depends on the person's condition; it is not unheard of for males to father children or even females with paralysis to give birth.

---

Assumption #5: If you are paralyzed, you need around-the-clock care.

Reality: This is actually quite a common assumption. I cannot count the number of times when I am in public and people wonder who is "with me" (as in who is my "caretaker"). Once things are adapted, it is entirely possible for someone with paralysis to live independently. In fact, I know of several partial quadriplegics who do. I have done so as well. Sometimes extra help may be needed, but independent living is a possibility for many.

---

Assumption #6: If you can't walk, your shoes will always stay clean.

Reality: Does a bicycle stay clean if you leave it in the shed? Of course not. Similarly, shoes do get dirty without being walked in, especially if they get out on a nearly daily basis. In addition, wheelchair users may need to transfer from one surface to another (such as from a wheelchair to a bed); this process can actually leave one's shoes quite banged up.

---

Assumption #7: Using a wheelchair is easy.

Reality: Believe it or not, this is common. While using a wheelchair gets easier over time, it is not "easy." A slight slope to a walking person may be like a mountain to a wheelchair user. Sometimes a detour around a flight of stairs may be multiple times longer and harder (when there is actually a detour). A slightly bumpy or uneven surface may prevent a wheelchair user from getting from point A to B easily.

Another thing that many people do not think about is physical ability. An able-bodied person in a wheelchair is able to use more muscles than someone who has a disability. For example, someone who has paralysis from the stomach down may not have use of his/her abdominal muscles for pushing a wheelchair. Also, someone who has impairment in the arms or fingers may not be able to push a wheelchair with a full grip.

---

Assumption #8: People with disabilities do not want to work.

Reality: This is almost the same as the idea that people with disabilities are "lazy." Many people with disabilities, including me, want to work. The biggest problem lies not in one's willingness or ability to work but rather in employers' attitudes.

I have come across many employers who assume that I will not be able to do the job due to my condition, even if the position itself does not involve a lot of physical activity; in fact, employers often will nearly TELL you what you can or cannot do rather than listening or seeing for themselves. I also know several friends who want to work but nobody will give them the chance to do so.

There is also a huge fear that to accommodate someone with a disability, the company would need to spend thousands of dollars to do so. This is often not the case; quite often, if a company cannot afford it, there are government programs in place to assist. Even more often, if someone needs very specialized equipment (such as special keyboards for computers), the person with the disability may already own the equipment!

There is an instant assumption of inability instead of ability. People with disabilities want to contribute to society like everyone else, but are often not "allowed" to do so.

---

Assumption #9: People with disabilities need our help.

Reality: Sometimes they do. Sometimes they do not. If they need help, they will ask for it.

One of the most common things I come across is when I am unloading/loading my wheelchair from my car, someone will stop and ask if I need help doing so. When that happens, I always think, "Do you really think that I would get into my car and drive somewhere without a proper exit strategy in place for once I arrive at my destination?" In fact, it may be even MORE time-consuming for someone to help in this case, because that person may not know how to assemble/disassemble my wheelchair!

---

Assumption #10: Physical disability is an indicator of mental disability.

Reality: This one sounds silly when spoken out loud, doesn't it? In fact, this is quite common and sometimes annoying. There is nothing worse than going to a place where someone treats you like a child simply because of your disability.

One of the things that I do is assume that someone's mental capacities are present unless it is made explicit that it is not the case. This is especially important for conditions like cerebral palsy; someone with this condition may not be able to speak, walk, control their saliva, etc. but may have their mental capacities completely intact.

---

Assumption #11: All paralyzed people have skinny legs.

Reality: Many do have muscle atrophy, but not all do. Due to spasms and my own exercise programs, I do not have a lot of atrophy. I know many people who do not have much atrophy. On the other hand, there are some who have severe atrophy (to the point where if they were magically "healed" all of a sudden, they still would not be able to walk because their legs cannot support their own weight).

---

Assumption #12: People with disabilities cannot make their own decisions.

Reality: This is another "silly when you hear it" one that happens often. One common thing that happens is when I am with a friend at a restaurant, the server will ask my friend what I would like, instead of asking me directly. Always address the person with the disability directly, even if he/she does not have the physical ability to respond. I did this once to a non-verbal child with autism, and his parents appreciated that I said "How are you?" directly to the child, treating him like everybody else.

---

Assumption #13: If you're in a wheelchair, you must know everyone else in town who is in a wheelchair.

Reality: No, I don't know Sally with the blond hair and black wheelchair. I'm sure she's nice though.

---

Assumption #14: All people in wheelchairs are good at wheelchair sports.

Reality: I wish this were the case. I could use some athletic ability. However, I really do want to see more people doing adaptive sports in order to stay healthy.

---

Assumption #15: I will never make any of these assumptions.

Reality: Perhaps but chances are that you will. I certainly have. It's more important to learn from it for next time. Nobody is perfect.

What are we called, exactly?

Tammy from Manchester, England asks:

If I see someone in a wheelchair/cane/etc., should I call him/her?

---

The person's name always helps. But with that aside, that is a good question.

There have been many words used in the past to describe people with disabilities. Just like many other civil rights movements, the words have evolved over time according to the sensitivities and perceived appropriateness of each generation.

In the past, there have been words used such as "cripple," "lame," "spazz" and so on. These words, over time, have gone from being commonplace to offensive. Some argue that the word "handicap" should be discontinued as well (which I will talk about later).

It seems that here in North America, there is a trend towards person-first language. For those who do not know, person-first language basically puts the person first and impairment second. For example, instead of saying "disabled person," the preferred term is now "person with a disability." (Obviously those who came up with this never had to deal with the length limitations of Twitter!)

The reason for this is that there is a movement to get the general population to change their ways of thinking about disability. Throughout history, there has been the idea that disability is something bad that limits a person's ability to live a full life. After the technological and medical advances of the past several centuries, this is no longer true; many people with disabilities are able to live a full and fulfilling life.

However, despite the advances, social perception of disability has not changed accordingly. It is possible for a person in a wheelchair to be viewed as helpless or limited simply due to his disability – even if the person is actually a Paralympian who has won a gold medal. There are many assumptions that people have, and it is all centered on the idea of what someone "cannot" do.

Hence, if you use the word "disabled" as an adjective, you are effectively describing the person by putting his/her disability first and foremost as if it is the most important thing about him/her. People with disabilities often want to be known for who they are as people, not simply as "the wheelchair guy/girl."

But there is a catch. This is not a universal rule. In the United Kingdom, the term "disabled person" is still widely used. I am not British so I do not know if there are many negative connotations that come from that like in North America. My Twitter has many followers from that part of the world; I would love to pick their brains about this topic one day.

The word "handicap"/"handicapped" could also be the next term to be phased out. Some see the word "handicap" as being an equivalent for "disadvantage." There is also an unconfirmed rumor that since the word's origins come from the term "hand in cap," it also has a connotation that people with disabilities are historically known for being beggars on the streets. (Again, this is not something I have been able to confirm.) Either way, I would not be surprised if this word is abandoned soon; that is why instead of "handicap parking," I err to the side of caution and say "accessible parking" instead.

The words "gimp" and "cripple" (generally considered offensive words) are undergoing an interesting change as well. Like the N-word, they are currently being reclaimed by those with disabilities. Sometimes it is a sign of pride. I have also seen it as a sign of defiance in response to assumptions about disability. Examples of how those words are reclaimed can be found at GimpHacks (a blog belonging to someone I know), My Gimpy Life (an upcoming series starring the wonderful Teal Sherer) and CripCollege (a blog teaching tips and tricks for wheelchair users that existed until 2010).

Of course, this is only English. In some other languages, the negative connotations of disability are embedded into the word itself, such as:

• German's "Behinderung" (which can also mean "incapacity")
  
• Spanish's "discapacidad" (which can also mean "without power")
  
• French's "invalidité" (which can also mean "invalidity" or "nullity")
  
• Chinese's "殘疾" (which can also mean "deformity")
  
• Korean's "장애" (which can also mean "failure")
  
  (This list may not be 100% accurate since I am going by my own knowledge of these languages; obviously I am better at some languages than others. Please feel free to offer corrections.)

Some can argue that the English word "disability" itself would belong on this list too, due to "dis" meaning "not." This issue can get quite complex.

The safest term right now is likely "person with a disability" but do not be surprised if that, too, gets ousted over time in favor of another term.

Weird questions

My friend Larry from Rowland Heights, California asks:

Do people ask you weird things about you [because you're in a wheelchair]? ... What's the weirdest thing you've been asked?

---

Interestingly, this topic came up during an encounter with Jocelyn from GimpHacks just the other week. In another incident, Tiffany Carlson wrote yesterday at New Mobility about someone asking if her boyfriend was paralyzed too. There is certainly a strange tendency for absolute strangers to ask weird questions to wheelchair users, for whatever reason. Some of these questions can get quite personal.

In general, I do not mind if people who know me or friends ask me questions. They are often hesitant to even ask in fear of offending or embarrassing me. (Their restrained curiosity and hesitation, in part, led to the creation of this blog.) I try to make it clear that since they know me, it is fine to ask questions, which is better than assuming things.

However, there are certain factors involved if someone wishes to ask me something related to my condition:

-how well the person knows me
-how close I am to that person
-whether that person needs to know the information
-whether that person would freak out at the answer to sensitive questions (even though that person wanted to know in the first place!)

With that said, things get strange when absolute strangers ask me questions. The questions can range from something very general (such as "How long have you been in a wheelchair?") to something very specific and personal (such as "Can you have sex?").

No matter how intimate the question is, when a stranger asks questions related to my condition within one hour of meeting me, it feels like he/she is not seeing me primarily as a person but rather he/she is putting my disability first before everything else.

Interestingly, questions about my equipment (such as my wheelchair) do not bug me as much. One reason is because I tend to be a "gear snob/nerd" myself sometimes and also because the people who tend to ask about equipment often fall into four categories: 1) senior citizens, 2) other people with a disability, 3) people who have friends/relatives with disability or 4) healthcare equipment professionals who happen to talk to me. These people are interested in mobility equipment mostly because they benefit from it or already know something about it. I have yet to meet someone interested in my equipment who does not fall into one of those four categories.

When it comes to friends and people I know, the appropriateness of questions tends to change. One big reason is because they have come to know me as a person first, putting the disability in second place as a result. Any information I give them will always be in second place after my personality.

That is why they feel like they can ask intimate questions like "Can you have sex?" and honestly expect me to answer. However, I wish they would stop freaking out at some of the answers. I remember explaining the bladder emptying process for people with paralysis and getting quite the reaction; if you ask the question, be prepared for the "no holds barred" truth! (I found the freak-out to be hilarious though; I can be quite evil sometimes.)

In closing, I think it is inappropriate to ask about someone's physical condition if you do not know that person very well. However, a free pass may be given to questions about someone's wheelchair or mobility equipment as long as you have some personal interest in it, either through your own medical condition, profession or relationship to someone who uses the same equipment.

And if in doubt, you can try sending the question to this blog and I will see if it can be answered publicly.

All eyes on me

Joe from Conyers, Georgia asks:

Do people stare at you a lot? ... Does it bother you when [they do]?

---

This is one of the most common questions about wheelchair users that people like to know. Why is it asked so often? Part of the reason is because everybody has a different answer to this.

Being in a wheelchair, I tend to stand out whether I like it or not. Some people never get used to the staring, but others do. I am somewhere in the middle for a few reasons, the biggest one being how I am still considered a fairly "new" wheelchair user compared to other people.

When I first had to use a wheelchair, I was terrified of being in public. Part of the reason is the potential for people to stare. I went through the same experience when I first had to wear glasses. Even though it was a necessity, the prospect of having new glasses or a wheelchair scared me.

Some people do stare at you like you are a sideshow. Even though I had been taught how to get around in a wheelchair, I paid a lot of attention to doing things right – it was of the utmost importance that I avoided doing something such as hitting a crack and taking a spill or lose control while going down a slope. I knew that if I screwed up, it would lead to more staring and I wanted to avoid that. To this day, I still have this fear in the back of my mind.

What I found was that it was a mixture of staring and complete avoidance. Some people would be fixated on me while others would act like I wasn't even there. These two extremes are best displayed at places like stores: some clerks will not even acknowledge your presence while others will pay special attention to you in case "you needed any help." The avoidance can become a problem when you actually DO need their help, of course!

So why is there a mixture of staring and avoidance?

The staring is easier to understand. Often it is not malevolent – people stare because they are curious but do not wish to express their curiosity with words. If you were to stare so intensely at an able-bodied person in a place like Canada or the United States, it may be interpreted differently.

I like to relate the staring towards wheelchair users to the staring that a Caucasian person may get in an Asian country. When I was in Asia, many non-Asians told me that they got a lot of stares but they understand it is from curiosity more than anything, since some areas are not accustomed to seeing non-Asians. I believe it is this same type of curiosity that causes staring in the West towards wheelchair users.

The reason for avoidance is much more harder to pinpoint but the prevailing theory is that it comes from childhood. When I am out and about, parents tend to direct their children away from me or tell the child to not stare or ask questions. Over time, the child is trained not to look at or interact with wheelchair users at all, resulting in avoidance.

Is this the right thing to teach our children? This is a much-debated question.

Those who say "yes" are often basing their answer on etiquette. They are trying to get their children to not be rude (by staring) or nosy (by asking questions).

Those who say "no" are often trying to promote understanding by familiarizing children with disability culture from an early age. It is theorized that if children are taught not to ignore people with disabilities, it will result in a more inclusive society.

Personally, I am in favor of the latter answer. I do not mind children asking questions because they are simply curious; it is also a great age to start learning about how other people live, whether it be related to different cultures, nationalities, sexual orientations or abilities/disabilities.

What about older children, teenagers or adults? In general, I do not mind older children or teenagers asking questions either. For adults, it depends on the person because I find that some adults hold some very concrete (and often incorrect) prejudices and assumptions about disability that are hard to crack even with the right information, for whatever reason. Older children and teenagers have prejudices and assumptions as well but they are not as concrete and inflexible as adults. This is my own observation, so other people may have different experiences.

---

Concluding thoughts

Does staring bother me? It does, but so does avoidance. When you hear the word "inclusion," it does not mean treating certain groups differently but rather the same as everybody else. Both staring and avoidance are based on treating me differently because I am in a wheelchair. Treating me like everybody else you know would be the best solution.

Should we teach kids not to stare or ask questions? I do not think so. I think it is important to promote understanding at an early age before adulthood, when the more hardened prejudices and opinions about people with disabilities set in. I do not mind children and teenagers asking questions; I would rather have them ask questions than make assumptions that continue into their later years.

I understand that the staring is often due to curiosity, and not everyone gets a chance to ask the questions that satisfy that curiosity. That is what this blog is for – hopefully by answering questions, there will be fewer stares because you will already have some sort of understanding.

---

Keep the questions coming! No question is off-limits (as long as it has benevolent intentions)!

---

Helping people in wheelchairs

JetPack from Winnipeg, Manitoba asks:

What are the rules about helping people in wheelchairs? When they need help, what do I do?

---

This is a very broad question, so I hope my answer isn't too broad as well.

Obviously, everyone is different. People use wheelchairs for different reasons. However, one thing that everyone wants is to be treated as normally as possible. Nobody wants to be treated like a freak.

Unfortunately that is hard to avoid if you are using a wheelchair. People treat you very differently. I could go on and on about it but to stay on topic, one very important form of "special treatment" we get (usually without asking for it) is help.

It is true that some wheelchair users do require help once in a while. But the blanket rule right now is this: If the wheelchair user needs your help, he/she will ask for it.

There is a tendency for people to help wheelchair users as much as possible, but many of us want to do things on our own first, or at least try. In fact, that is what rehabilitation centers are supposed to teach you – those places teach you to make the most of the parts of your body that are still functioning and do things yourself instead of relying on others for help.

This includes moments when it appears like the person is struggling to get something done or is doing something very slowly. Unless the person is looking around or asking for someone to help, don't step in.

I'll include an example: When I am getting back to my car, it is impossible for me to simply hop right in to the driver's seat and drive away. First, I have to lift my body from my wheelchair on to the driver's seat. Then I detached the wheels of my chair and stow them. After that, I fold down my chair's backrest and lift it on board and onto the passenger's seat. Finally, I can close the door and start the car.

As you can imagine, this can take a great deal of time (though I have mastered the art of doing it in under a minute). But there are countless times when passers-by would stop and ask if I need help because from THEIR perspective, it looks like I am struggling and taking forever. This does not mean that I am incapable of doing it – it just takes longer.

Of course, there are other ways of "helping" that may not always require asking for help. One such way is holding doors for someone. This is a normal courtesy regardless of whether you are able-bodied or not. However, many people tend to hold the door open for me completely – while standing in the door frame and in my way. That is obviously not the correct way to do it.

If you wish to hold the door open completely for a wheelchair user, make sure the doorway is clear. If the person seems to have good hand function, he/she might tell you that he/she's "got it." That is often an indication that your help is appreciated and no longer needed.

For double-doors, some manual wheelchair users may use one door as leverage while opening the other door. Hence, do not try to create a scenario where both doors are open because that may throw off the wheelchair user's center of gravity (remember: he/she is using the second door as leverage).

Of course, there is the occasional able-bodied person who thinks they are doing you a favor by pushing the automatic door button for you. I can never understand those people.

That is all I have to say about assistance with doors. The other big one is assistance with slopes.

It is no secret that slopes are wheelchair users' Achilles wheel. (I'll let you absorb that horrible pun for a second.) But similarly, wheelchair users will ask for help when they need it. Do not, under any circumstances, push the wheelchair user without asking. This is dangerous because if the chair is in motion, it may throw off its center of gravity and cause it to tip.

Some wheelchair users, such as myself, refuse to add push handles to their chairs for the precise reason of discouraging people from simply jumping in to push without asking. A wheelchair is considered part of our bodies and our personal space; pushing it without permission is a personal space violation.

But what happens if a wheelchair user does need to ask for help for slopes or a few steps?

The most important thing is to ask or listen to EXACTLY what the wheelchair user tells you to do. Don't make assumptions about what you need to do to help.

Every wheelchair is different; obviously, the person sitting in it will know it the best. For example, I know exactly how my wheelchair would behave on a slope or going up steps. I also know which parts are detachable or movable. Therefore, it is imperative that you listen to the instructions the person in the wheelchair gives you, for both parties' safety.

---

This is a long post. I will summarize it here for those who only skimmed through it:

- Don't help a wheelchair user unless he/she asks for help.
- If a wheelchair user appears to be struggling to do something or doing something slowly, don't assume he/she needs help.
- If assisting with doors (in a way that you'd assist any able-bodied person), make sure the doorway is clear for the wheelchair to enter.
- For double-doors and manual wheelchair users, don't try to assist by opening both doors. (One door is safer.)
- If asked to help, don't make assumptions on how to help – wait or ask for instructions and follow them.